New Year's Un-Goals

Every year I swear I'm not going to set New Year's goals, especially related to cliche' areas of weight, home organization, money, etc.

It's so tempting, though!

Tangible goals will be difficult, with what this year will bring.

We have so many changes in store for us in the next year, the main one being a baby on the way.

I'm really nervous about having two... especially the sleep. I truly require 9 hours a night, and my first daughter was a horrific sleeper.

That is no exaggeration. Up at least 20 times a night for two years, no matter what we tried (within our comfort zone).

I know I shouldn't worry, because chances are it won't be the same, but it's difficult not to be concerned. We're very attachment-oriented parents, and having such a troubled sleeper really strained our ideals and sent us into a realm of doubt that probably just made everything worse.

We're crossing our fingers and trying to trust that the universe will be kind. :)

A great change is that my husband is finally finishing up his doctoral classes and internship. It's been a very, very, VERY long three years of coursework, made more difficult by the fact that he's also working 50-60 hours as a dedicated school administrator. I wouldn't wish our family situation of the last three years on my worst enemy!

But, on the flip side, he's starting his dissertation in the fall. It will be a great deal of work, but at least he won't have to be in class two nights a week, so our schedule will be more flexible.

So, my goal for the year is simple: Be present in my own life and do what needs to be done for the health and happiness of my family and myself!

Whew! The whirlwind of fall is almost over! October brings my daughter's birthday, my birthday, two sister's birthdays, and Halloween. November is Thanksgiving, and then on to Christmas. They are all fun, but require much work! I'll have to admit that I'm ready for Christmas Eve, not only for the festivities, but because it means that all my work has come to fruition! Here's some glimpses into our lives over the last month.

My little cat on Halloween. Her adamant choice!

At the zoo for the first time, the day before Thanksgiving (the PERFECT time and weather to go)!

Posing for her Christmas shot. This was her favorite. She looks so angelic, but I had to work hard to shoot around and crop out the 10 band-aids that she put on her arms for fun the day before. Ha!

I have also been in full-fledged baby mode. I sorted through and organized baby clothes (looks like the seasons won't match up, but we'll see!), and have been doing some serious decluttering and organizing. It all makes me all the more committed to keeping things as simple as possible around here. It's just too much work to have a bunch of stuff!

No Spend Month

September and October were VERY expensive for us.

Between our maternity deposit, car repairs, house repairs, and October birthdays, we blew through a ton of cash.

AND, my car was broken into this week and purse stolen. Luckily, I didn't have much cash and no other valuables were taken. Then, the next day, our dishwasher stopped working.

Add that to that the fact that our couch AND recliner have also broken in the last three months, which we haven't even begun to think about replacing, and we're feeling a bit financially overwhelmed.

Sigh.

Guess I will need to sell some of the things we're getting rid of (rather than just giving away).

To get us back on track, I'm instituting a "no spend" month for November, except for necessities and groceries.

My only exception is for Christmas shopping. BUT, this year I'm going to pull out the cash we've budgeted, and NOT go over it!

My Baby Bump (16 weeks) And Other Fall Fun

Things are calming down around here! I feel "normal" again, and am hitting that second trimester energy surge (only a month late :).

This is Bug and I dancing to some bluegrass at the NC State Fair.

And here's my 16 week pic, although I'm actually 17 weeks today. I am much bigger this time around. My belly wasn't this big at 30 weeks with Bug! But, I LOVE looking pregnant. I think pregnant women are incredibly beautiful, and think it's really sad that so many women feel "fat" and are sensitive about belly comments. I never feel better about my body than when I'm pregnant!

Yes, that is our super-cool 1972 Chevy Malibu. It was my husband's grandfather's and it is really fun to ride in, although I don't trust the seatbelts with our carseat. It's a hot car, though, and that's said by someone who usually could care less about cars.

Time to go enjoy the cool(er) NC weather, although it will still be in the 80's this week! At least we're done with 100+ weather!

My 30 Year Goals :)

How in the world did I turn 30? There is no escaping my grown-upped-ness now! I like to try to set some goals at every birthday.... so here are mine for my 30th year! I'm trying to make them a little more realistic this year, but it's so hard!

In no particular order...

1. Learn to use 50 Spanish words and phrases.

2. Sew or alter 10 items of clothing for my daughter, child number two, or myself (ummm... have to learn to sew first!

3. Teach at least one full Lamaze class series (put that certification to good use)!

4. Figure out how to market and add selling slings to business.

5. Get to a healthy weight and strength through good eating and a positive exercise routine (which means to lose about 20 pounds... although I think it's too negative to set "weight-loss goals").

6. Keep releasing all the clutter in our home (and storage units)! Get to the point where we only have two small units and every room and closet in our home is functional... aka not packed with junk!

7. Create and maintain flexible and effective routines and rhythms for our home.

8. Build up to the habit of meditating 15 minutes or so a day.

I'm tempted to go on, but I think that's plenty for now!

Back to Planet Earth

I think I'm re-entering Earth's atmosphere!

The last few months have been a blur of nausea and fatigue... and trying to be there for my daughter when I really just want to zone out!

But, I think I'm at the end, finally, now that I'm 14 weeks pregnant. Not quite normal, but feeling better :).

One big event of the last few months is one I never thought would happen so soon: weaning. I want to write more about this later.

About my peace with it and also some of my regrets.

But, it's done. It was the best decision for all of us, including my almost three year old.

I'm really ready to move to the next phase of this pregnancy. I want to enjoy and connect to it, which is always really difficult for me during the "stomach-flu" period.

I've also been giving away an average of 3 garbage bags FULL of junk/treasure every day, which has been really freeing. We had planned on selling most of it, but I've just given up on it.

You know, I've always said that it really does come back to you, anyway. For example, after giving away 5 bags of stuff that I probably could've gotten $50 for, max, someone offered me all their winter maternity clothes... which is worth waaaay more than that!

Plus, I didn't have to spend precious hours and energy doing a garage sale, craigslisting, or ebaying. There is such peace of mind in just releasing things.

Finally, my camera is STILL out for repairs. Grrrr.... It came back to us once unfixed, and Best Buy better hope that it's returned to me repaired this time! Mama bear is extremely frustrated to not be able to take pictures of all the happenings of our household!

All Out

This isn't going to be pretty.

I'm very, very tired. And, I thought the first trimester was almost over... and then I went to our first appointment at the Birth Center. The midwife said she thought I wasn't 11 weeks, more like 8. So we decided to go for an unplanned ultrasound, which showed she was right.

Apparently, when you're still nursing, it can delay ovulation pretty dramatically in your cycle (even if your cycle is regular) and throw off the dates.

Sigh.

Speaking of nursing, my almost-three-year old nursling is kind of driving me crazy.

It makes my skin crawl to nurse right now. La Leche folks said that's actually really normal at this age and during pregnancy, which does make me feel better, but it is still driving me nuts. My little girl is nowhere near ready to wean, but I'm finding myself wanting to stop. What to do?

Getting sleep has become my numero uno priority, but it's hard to come by. My daughter is not a sleeper... to say the least... and I think my sleep needs actually exceed hers right now.

And, of course, my husband's doctoral program and super-busy-ridiculous-workallthetime job as an assistant principal has geared up for the year. Which means I have exactly 2 hours-ish of downtime in a week.

I have got to find a 12 year old to come be a mother's helper!

I also need to figure out how to get my daughter to relax and play some on her own. She is so very wonderful, bright, curious, and intense. She also wants my constant interaction and total and complete attention during the day... except when the tv is on. It's very tiring.

I never thought I would be a parent who would allow more than the briefest tv watching, but I am completely embarrassed by how much we've been watching lately. I think not being able to get outside as much (105 degrees with high humidity is just too much with the nausea) is giving us way too much time with too little to fill it, except mommy the entertainer.

I'm feeling the need to make changes in our rhythm and routines, but am really unsure how I can go about it without a major battle.

This motherhood thing can be really tough.

But, on a positive note, Bug is finally sleeping all night regularly... uninterrupted sleep is amazing. AND, I'm nowhere near as sick this pregnancy as I was with my last pregnancy... which is not only great, but in my family's history it means BOY! Of course, the ultimate positive news is that this is a healthy pregnancy, which will result in another beautiful soul in the world! If only I could keep that in mind while feeling mired down!